Wow! Another episode! They just keep coming and coming, week after week. Neverending. Never stopping. Can you remember a life without drag race. I can. Children played outside, the trees were abound with fruit, it was peaceful. Now, the children scream, the fruit has fallen and rots amongst the worms, and my womb is barren. Drag race saturates every vessel of my being. I cannot escape it but, it too cannot escape me. I am here as drag race savior. Prey, by reading this meager review, you too can escape the tyranny of drag race so that next time an encounter depends on one’s previous knowledge of said reality competition, one only needs to recall this witty and fun-filled article. Let us begin.
This episode was not very good. If the queens were tasked with doing bad improv then they all would’ve been given an A*! (or a level 7 thanks to ol’ Mike Gove). Unfortunately, they had to do GOOD improv and seemed to skip out on that golden nugget of knowledge that Rupaul gifts to them every season, “how are you gonna make it funny?”. The only thing these scenes did succeed in, was setting me up for a wonderful afternoon nap. What did keep me awake was my increasingly favoured queen India and her vase dispensing coochie. It reminded me of my favourite family friendly joke:
FEMALE 1: I hate it when my husband brings me flowers! I’m expected to keep my legs open all night!
FEMALE 2: What? Don’t you have a vase?!
Apparently India opens those legs from Tonypandy to Timbuktu and gobbles up the flowers AND the vase! Talk about second helpings. So the improv didn’t speak to me and neither did their uncomfortable TMZ heterosexual impressions. Sometimes with drag race, you forget that they are actually gay men but seeing them try their best at trying to pass for straight, i was painfully aware that I was watching a group of gay men.
Runway! Category is: camo couture. I hate camo and don’t like it at all. Because of this, I liked Blair’s the most. This part of the episode I think is going to start being dedicated to just Blair and Shea but I do want to shout out my girl India for giving us Playstation 2 titillating token female character.
This episode ends with Cracker getting the win she had finally been looking for and won the lipsync by staying true to herself, by dancing like a 36 year old. This episode made me realise something, I care very little for the challenges. I don’t actually laugh that much at drag race. I’m here for runways and drama lesbe honest. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the afternoon, I’m off to watch Next in Fashion. Ta ra!
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